Experience:LSD (120ug) - An Overdose of LSD and Trip into Insanity
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"This is it" I thought to myself as I was driving back home with my two good friends, T and S. I was going to trip for my first time on LSD! Throughout my research I decided it would be okay to trip overnight and sober up by morning when my parents wake up.. Oh how wrong I was.
As I'm sitting in my bean bag watching my friends play Mario cart on a Gamecube, I looked at my reported 120 microgram dose. As my logical part of my brain was whispering that it might not be a good idea, I quickly put it under my tongue feeling accomplished. I immediately had a feeling I was in for the ride of my life. As I could feel the substance sink into my saliva, I put on my headphones and blasted some amazing trip music to get me in a good and happy mood. As time goes by, I find the blotter to finally be getting annoying and decide it is time to swallow. When I do this, I quickly realized that reality seemed a little different.
As I looked at the TV screen, I noticed the neon colors start to streak further across the room and the one lamp that is on to glow more like a candle. I looked over at my friends and with a huge grin on my face state "I think I'm feeling something!".
As I continue to get into the vibe, the whole universe suddenly looked much larger. I realized just how small I really was. I got up and started to walk around with excitement while I felt very light weight and joyful.
I suddenly realized that I was officially tripping when I saw everything start to warp a little. This made me giggle my ass off. I had never been so happy because of such a little thing before, but there was much more to come.
I decided it was finally time for me to try to play Mario cart, and as I tried to navigate through the menu with my friend I realized that I could actually still play really well. I chose a map called "rainbow road" for obvious reasons, and the neon rainbow of colors engulfed the entire room as we played. I had never felt this before, but a great peace of everything being connected to me overcame me and I started bawling my eyes out! I kept telling my friends that I was experiencing "pure love" and that the universe loved me!
My friends didn't really seem impressed and weren't being very good trip sitters, so I decided that I should let them have a break from my trip and take a shower. As they told me I shouldn't do it because it might wake my parents, I forcefully locked myself in the bathroom an proceeded to have wonderful open eyed visuals and patterns!
As I looked around the bathroom, the neon lights still encompassed my vision and many countless small triangles of the same purplish color went all over the walls and it looked like it was rotating slowly. When I turned on the shower, the white curtain had a wonderful yellow highlighter colored writing that looked like complex alien equations. I started to see what looked like atoms and planets all floating in an endless space. It was wonderful, but was also not what I was looking for. I was more looking for cartoonish playful images, so it kind of scared me because of the complexity.
Once I had enough, I got out of the shower and put on what felt like the most comfortable clothes in the world. I sat bak down on the beanbag and proceeded to listen to music and enjoy a neon Light show blazing from the TV. Eventually I got bored and came up with a wonderful idea to play twister. Well, it turns out that I suck at twister while tripping because I was laughing too hard the whole time, but once I had my fill I convinced them to let me be in the pitch black darkness in my room and be alone with trippy music to delve deep inside my consciousness... This is where it gets really bad and also pretty hard to explain but I will do my best to paint the clearest picture.
After being kind of disappointed by the lack of CEVs, I got bored and turned off the music, but I was unaware that I had really changed in that time period. When the music stopped, I was hearing voices. They sounded like fairly high pitched fading screams and yells. They told me that there were five of them and that they were the spirits that make up each human conscious and that they each hold a quality that all humans have. They didn't tell me the qualities, but I understood. Then I turned on the room light and heard them talking to me saying that each light I turn on or off will give me one of their qualities. Each of them being a light in the room and when turned on I experienced their presence. Well in my delusions, I didn't know it but I was bare naked and frantically doing combinations of lights being on and off to feel different emotions as they told me that everyone in the afterlife is equal and everyone is the same and happy. During this I felt a profound ego death as I completely was not the same person any longer.
Now it gets REALLY.. REALLY bad. During the light switch delusion, I found the extra 11 tabs in my closet, which the spirits then told me to take. I proceeded to eat the entire rest of the tabs along with the packaging and everything. I continued to turn on and off lights, each time feeling more and more disconnected from reality until my friends found me. I couldn't speak. I couldn't make out words or even my own thoughts, and I could barely understand them. They got me to finally put clothes back on and were asking where the LSD was because they couldn't find it. I had no idea WHAT LSD even was at the time so I proceeded to tell them I knew where it was because I thought I would be in trouble if I didn't tell them, and showed them random spots where the LSD obviously wasn't even at.
Not knowing what to do, my friends call a girl who talks to me like I am retarded and dying. Each time she tried talking to me I got scared and dropped the phone but they kept making me try to talk to her. I couldn't see who was speaking to me and reality looked so different and messed up that I thought that I was unconscious and she was talking to me while I am unresponsive. She sounded worried (obviously) but that made me think that something was REALLY wrong with me and that I am dying. I thought that I was drifting from reality and would eventually cease to exist and I couldn't get out of this state.
My friends thought it would just be best to keep me in my bed till the morning, and as they were holding me down on my bed I still thought I was unconscious, that my friends were not real, and that firefighters were talking to my unconscious body asking me very simple but serious questions that I couldn't answer like "what did you take" And "are you okay?".
I eventually woke up the next morning, my friends were in another room, and I was still tripping balls. It was about 8:00 and when I tried to get out of my bed, my leg muscles felt like they were about to rip because they were so sore. I pushed through it and went to the sink where I puked up red stuff that I thought might be blood.
My friend asked me if I was okay, and I was freaking out saying no and that I'm still high as a kite and feel the worst I've ever felt. I went onto my bed and for some reason, my legs were hurting so bad that I convinced myself that every muscle below my waist got pulled out of place and that I couldn't move them. I thought that I was going to be paralyzed for the rest of my life and that I will never be able to walk again. I looked at my legs and they looked malnourished and messed up. This made me solid in my beliefs and I lost it.
As I was sitting in my bed staring at the wall and seeing planets, quasars, equations, symbols, and images of my destroyed body parts and muscles, I was convinced that my life was over and that trying acid had completely fried my brain and destroyed my body.
The visuals at this point were amazingly solid. I was seeing what I comprehended as business and little workers dressed in either blue or green. The blue representing the hard working people who still don't get paid very much and the green who have risen to the top and don't work very hard but make good pay. I also saw planets and people living on the planets. I could hear definite "beep" "boop" "bop" and "zoom" noises that sounded like a scifi computer thing. I was thinking about how scientists who invented LSD had completely changed my mind and I thought about how mighty and powerful they were for having that knowledge.
I saw my friends as far more intelligent beings than me and That I was just a stupid druggy acid head who just ruined his life. I saw my dad as a hard worker and my mom as a loving person who just wanted the best for me but I completely threw it all away because I took acid.
It was at this point when I decided that my life was over and that I should just finish the job now. I had never been suicidal in my life, but at this moment I wanted to kill myself really badly. I am very lucky that my pocket knife wasn't in my room because I probably would have stabbed myself in the throat and ended it right then.
What is also a very interesting thing about this point in time I was in is that I was also 100% sure that there was no afterlife. It made so much sense to me that why can't we just die? Who is to say my consciousness is important. The best way to describe it was that I saw all humans including myself as ants. In the past when I had stepped on an any I would just think that it was dead now and nothing else. I thought the same way about humans, and how the thought of heaven and god was just as fake as Santa clause and the Easter bunny. They are just figments of imagination that we make up to make us happy. Of course, this is COMPLETELY contradictory of how I felt when I heard spirits talking to me!
At this time, my vision was also very different. Aside from the incredibly complex visuals, everything looked like a really high-def cartoon like world, but not like a normal cartoon. It was more like the world looked more curvy, bluish, and actually more defined and real. It almost looked more real than it does sober.
In the end, I ended up being driven to the hospital by my mom, and taken to a room where I continued to have incredible visuals and insights. Peoples faces melted and blended together, their hair seemed to split into fragmented atoms that were still held together, but you could see separation. I could make out a random thin smoke like wispy cloud that I saw morph into complex geometrical shapes and symbols. The room I was in at one point looked like it was being detached from the rest of the building and driving off into deep space.
During this trip, my first one, I experienced profound happiness that can only be described as pure love, I encountered spiritual beings that make up human consciousness, was severely disconnected from reality (a very uncomfortable feeling. Just thinking about how I felt makes me cringe), became insane and thought I was paralyzed, was convinced that everything I experienced the night before was a lie and that there is absolutely no hope for an afterlife, and ended up in a hospital.
I would not take back the trip. Even though it ended in a way that I don't want to experience ever again, it showed me all parts of a psychedelic trip, my inner conscious, and I now have a better understanding of myself and the reality around me.
Submitted by - Progoslomo
Effects analysis
Effects present:
- Perception of decreased weight - "I felt very light weight "
- Drifting - "I saw everything start to warp a little"
- Unity and interconnectedness - "a great peace of everything being connected to me overcame me"
- Geometry - "open eyed visuals and patterns! "
- External hallucination - "I started to see what looked like atoms and planets all floating in an endless space."
- laughter - "I was laughing too hard the whole time"
- Auditory hallucination - "I was hearing voices."
- Delusion - "I didn't know it but I was bare naked and frantically doing combinations of lights being on and off to feel different emotions as they told me that everyone in the afterlife is equal and everyone is the same and happy." "I thought that I was drifting from reality and would eventually cease to exist and I couldn't get out of this state."
- Ego death - "During this I felt a profound ego death as I completely was not the same person any longer."
- Nausea - "I puked up red stuff that I thought might be blood. "
- Internal hallucination - "I was seeing what I comprehended as business and little workers dressed in either blue or green. "
- Acuity enhancement - "everything looked like a really high-def cartoon like world