Experience:AL-LAD - Microdose out of depression
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This is a report of the first month of my very successful AL-LAD microdosing (MD) experiment in winter 2016.
Background
The Problem: Depressed, overthinking, socially anxious and isolated. I had days where I couldn't think about anything positive. I just stood there clueless, defining the flaws of humanity. When I was in the educational system I had to simultaniously study the antithesis because I generally felt like there is something wrong with everything. So I got into all kinds of topics like alternatives to elitism and the systematic production of exploitable humans (capitalism).
In research chemicals I see the potential to replace drugs that, due to the oppression of the human need to alter conciousness, produce highly violent structures (Heroin and Cocaine). Healthier drugs and even medications are brought into the spotlight by the RC-Community. New psychoactive substances (NPS) are coming out of the chemical industry, scientific field and private speech technologies more so than from traditional crime groups.
My depression led me to experimental full doses of various drugs and eventually the medication with an antidepressant (Citalopram).
4-HO-MET showed me that I should take a break and get back on track with my life.
Citalopram showed me it's downsides in a horrible night after lots of alcohol (stupid). I got cold sweats, sensory rushes and horrific thoughts. But even if you do everything right youre likely to experience nothing but bad side effects in the first weeks.
Report
The Solution: I stopped doing these drugs. Instead I focussed on physical exercise and the simplification of my life. This helped to establish a baseline stability. But when I started microdosing AL-LAD (18,75 mics every third day) a real change happened:
Suddenly a medication for the cost of two coffee to gos a month made me enjoy life every day. It makes me more open, positive, unbiased, motivated and creative. I get shit done, please my urge to do drugs and get into unbelievable conversations with people, no matter who they are and what kind of or how many other people are around us (relief from sociophobia).
The break days are not as good as the MD-days but I never have completely useless depressed days anymore. There are still major aspects to integrate into life and I still have an issue with caffeine but I'm going to integrate them soon and switch from impulsive coffee drinking to one capsule of caffeine and some green tea extract in the morning.
My urge to do drugs is pretty much silenced. For me a month of pristine every day life is one hundred times the value of an average recreational drug dose.
The fear of death and suicidal thoughts are reduced. Humanity is still driving against a wall imho but at least I can be different without at the same time beeing sad that I dont fit in (psychological resilience).
When I dont have things to do on MD-day or plans get disturbed I feel the discontented stimulation that forces me to find something new to engage positively in. To meander in self-pity is impossible.
Since its a known side effect; Maybe I wouldve stopped eating meat if I wouldnt have done this already many years ago.
Concerning the short duration of AL-LAD I can only say that the whole day is fantastic.
I dont drink alcohol anymore because I consider it a solution of stupidity in comparison to AL-LAD.
The only downside Ive noticed is the increased likelyhood of traffic accidents on MD-days.
Effects analysis
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